Today

Today I decided it, I’m making a blog…. I am woman and I’ve got lots to ROAR about. I have so many things running around my head and my house.  I’m tired .. A long week of work (labor intensive work, actual work) I have 3 boys all needing my time, not to mention a shower.  Ones just perfect, fat and happy. Of course, most 6 month olds are.  The middle child is always screaming or throwing something (on target I might add) pretty good for a two year old.. Then we have the whiny 6 year old and life’s not fair stage!! Duh it nots son get used too it… And speaking of fair how fair is it that I have 3 beautiful loving little boys and can’t seem to get that beautiful red or blonde headed baby girl out of my mind.  Where is she at ?! I mean really, not funny. Maybe she will forever be a figment of my imagination.  A dream, something I long for.  I can’t help but be a tad upset every time a friend has a girl.

Upset with me.. Upset that I’m even upset. Sad that I will never experience what she is…mad I’ll never get to use those pink bows I have stashed …confused bc I’m so womanly & shouldn’t I be passing down this skill set????   Takes me to a dark place that I don’t like to visit often. Self pity & just get over it already….its A lonely place. Some where I can extend my stay for days at a time.

Then I pray.  I pray for comfort, I pray for peace, I pray for healing.  God is good and I feel peace even at this exact moment.  Just now my sweet boy crawled up and loved on me … Oh thank you Lord just what I needed.  He is always on time.

Glad I got out of that ugly mood quick.  I don’t have time to sit and dwell and especially tonight .  It’s the beginning of Mothers Day weekend.  So thankful to be a Mom.  It is the best feeling in the world to give life and to raise children. Although life’s not always a bag of JelLybeans but it’s my bag!  Got to celebrate earlier this week with my Mum.  We saw the Huntsman, Winters War.  And it was cray cray.   Good thing Chris Hemsworth was in it!!!  Looked it up later and the movie was an actual prequel & sequel all  in one😡😡😡. Stupid wish I would have known before although I prob still would have paid to see the Mighty THOR!!

ok I have to quit !! It’s bedtime and well it’s the weekend so we may skip a shower, who’s with me?! Goodnight …

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